When it comes to estate planning, one important decision many people struggle with is whether to share the details of their plans with family members. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer — it largely depends on your goals and your family’s dynamics. However, thoughtful communication can go a long way in reducing confusion and conflict after your death. Let’s take a closer look at the pros and cons of sharing your estate planning decisions with your family.
The pros
Sharing the details of your estate plan provides many benefits, including:
Explaining your wishes. When they design their estate plans, most people want to treat all their loved ones fairly. But “fair” doesn’t always mean “equal.” The problem is that your beneficiaries may not understand that without an explanation.
For example, suppose you have adult children from a previous marriage and minor children from your second marriage. Treating both sets of children equally may not be fair, especially if the adult children are financially independent and the younger children still face significant living and educational expenses. It may make sense to leave more of your wealth to your younger children. And explaining your reasoning upfront can go a long way toward avoiding hurt feelings or disputes.
Obtaining feedback. Sharing your plans with loved ones allows them to ask questions and provide feedback. If family members feel they’re being treated unfairly, you may wish to discuss alternatives that better meet their needs while still satisfying your estate planning objectives.
Streamlining estate administration. Sharing details of your plan with your executor, trustees and any holders of powers of attorney will enable them to act quickly and efficiently when the time comes. This is particularly important for people you’ve designated to make health care decisions or handle your financial affairs if you become incapacitated.
The cons
There may be some disadvantages to sharing the details of your plan, including:
Strained relationships. Some loved ones may be disappointed when they learn the details of your estate plan, which can lead to strained relationships. Keeping your plans to yourself allows you to avoid these uncomfortable situations. On the other hand, it also deprives you of an opportunity to resolve such conflicts during your lifetime.
Encouragement of irresponsible behavior. Some affluent parents worry that the promise of financial independence may give their children a disincentive to behave in a financially responsible manner. They may not pursue higher education, remain gainfully employed and generally lead productive lives. Rather than keeping your children’s inheritance a secret, a better approach may be to use your estate plan to encourage desirable behavior.
Don’t forget to factor in your state’s laws
As you think over how much you wish to disclose to your loved ones about your estate plan, be sure to consider applicable state law. The rules governing what a trustee must disclose to beneficiaries about the terms of the trust vary from state to state. Some states permit so-called “quiet trusts,” also known as “silent trusts,” which make it possible to keep the trust a secret from your loved ones.
Other states require trustees to inform the beneficiaries about the trust’s existence and terms, often when they reach a certain age. For example, trustees may be required to provide beneficiaries with a copy of the trust and an annual accounting of its assets and financial activities. However, many states allow you to place limits on the information provided to beneficiaries.
Sharing is caring
Ultimately, a well-crafted estate plan should speak for itself. But open communication, when done thoughtfully, can support your plan’s success and give your loved ones clarity and peace of mind. Contact us with questions.
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